Reality Check

Do you ever sit and wonder what life would be like if you had made certain choices to change the outcome of your current situation? I sometimes get lost in these thoughts and quickly get a reality check. 

My reality starts at 330am mostly every morning and ends roughly around 9pm and some times 11pm most nights. I've always been a dreamer. A dreamer that will one day make his dream a reality. The truth is, it's a hard task to conquer. The war will always be passion versus commission. Until one day they see eye to eye and agree to coincide with one another. Until then, it's all about that American dream right? The hardest thing is to find something that you are so passionate about and make a living from doing it. For most people, it turns into a financial responsibility to care for themselves and members of their family. For others, it's what makes them happy. Can't you have your cake and eat it too? 

Let me be real with you for a second. For the longest time I've been a dance instructor while always holding a second job. When I was single it was a piece of cake being that I took care of myself and did what I love doing. When i got married, same situation. When Kingston was born my vision slightly shifted from Amy and myself to him. Now that Kensley is here, My vision has completely changed as I look into what our future as a family will be. From 2009-2011 I started and owned Expressive Dance Studio. My vision was to inspire the next generation through the culture of hip-hop, not necessarily owning a dance studio.  At that time I had no choice but to pave my own way. I sold Expressive to a company in 2011 with whom I still work for directing their hip-hop program and I'm also employed with Starbucks. 2 jobs with 60+ hours a week and a family of 4, the struggle is real.

While a good full time job will take care of both jobs financially, the question is, "will it make ME happy?" Ultimately, life is best enjoyed when the things we do make us happy. We all know how fast downhill that can go on a bad day. It sounds selfish to say I should do things to make myself happy instead of the family. But in reality, I'd be happier with the family if I love what I do day after day. Who wants to come home miserable to a family that misses you?!? On the flip side, how can you be happy when there's no money to pay for bills?!? My goal is to financially take care of the family while not missing out on my kids growing up. My goal has always been to be a business owner. What that looks like, I have no idea. What I do know is that I'm going to give myself one year to make this goal happen. To actually implement the process and find people on board to help out for this first year. I'm excited about this venture as I've never been one to do something like this. I won't say what it is but you'll know in due time.  

See, once in a while we need a reality check. Mine came from always missing out on family. Coming home tired and exhausted from working at Starbucks from 4am and getting done with dance around 830pm to going home and having to prep for dance the next day and hopefully getting 4 hours of sleep only to do it again. My body is exhausted. I've been working too hard while being too young  and just "getting by." Something needs to change. I'm not the type that works for a weekend to have with my family. Family has always been my 1st priority and that hasn't been the case lately and I need to make something happen. My dance kids mean the world to me. I can't give up dance just yet. 

When you get a reality check, you either daydream of what could happen or you start to plan out what happens next.

So here's to the rest of 2015 and the beginning of a journey that's going to be really exhausting and time consuming. Only difference is that I get to do it while my wife and kids are right next to me :)

What speaks to you?