Being a dancer in a not so hungry atmosphere...

This past weekend was spent in Seattle,Washington at the Movement Lifestyle  Tour. Now for those of you who don't know about this event, it's a 10 hour intense training workshop split over the course of 2 days with amazing choreographers who push and inspire dancers around the world to be better. Now with that said, on to the core of this blog :)

The first day we arrived at 7:30am for registration and class began at 9am. Vinh Nguyen was first to teach. I was super excited as I've had the pleasure of taking Vinh's class before back in 2007/2008 or so. He begins teaching and it's right down my alley. He taught to a song that I myself would choreograph to. Up next to teach is Mr. Lyle Beniga himself. Lyle is known for his raw and aggressive type choreography. He taught a routine based more on the foundation of house than a normal hip-hop routine. This class challenged me in so many ways. BUT I LOVED EVERY SWEATING MOMENT OF IT!!!! Yes, it was very challenging and yes I did get my butt kicked in that class. The feeling of accomplishment came towards the end of class. It's not about "KILLING" a routine but more towards expanding your knowledge and leaving with more than what you came in knowing.

Here's the link to the dance that we learned from Lyle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P00V2woS-Oc

Now, the dance scene in the NW is really just Seattle. When you think of Portland, Oregon your first thought is not hip-hop dancing. When you think of Vancouver, you think Canada and rightfully so. The Portland Metro area is not known for it's dance community. Why?!?!? This is my opinion and my opinion only. If you have another opinion I can respect that. But don't read this and take it as I hate my dance community. I love dancing and I love sharing pieces. After taking this workshop and seeing so many people wanting to train and be there for a common purpose was amazing to see. You don't see that in this dance community. People only go certain places when it fits they're schedule or if friends go to the same place. Not even just the same place but if their friend is teaching, thats the only one they support. Its hard to get a community together when there is no community to start with. It all starts with you! I paid $200 to get training from these instructors and if they want to teach a lyrical piece then I'M DOING A LYRICAL PIECE FULL OUT BY THE END OF CLASS!!! Training is training and no matter who the instructor is, you can learn a lil something. BUT if you don't train then how will you ever GROW?. Same as in school. You can't graduate to the next level if you dont attend class. You get the picture. The point is, we train in dance because it betters us as dancers. If you don't train, how will you ever get better? Why place a title on yourself when the only time you exercise that ability is when it's convenient to you? See a title has a lot of weight behind it. In life, we use it to measure one's importance in a company or rank in military. To have the title of a dancer comes with a lot of weight. And if that seems like it's a lot of weight then the visual representation of lack of knowledge becomes apparent. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying if you don't train you can't call yourself a dancer. I'm simply saying that you CANNOT advance in a field where training is necessary to continue to call yourself that title. Call a spade a spade but don't sugar coat it and say that you do it once in a while when people around you are eating and breathing it. Training is super important and to give up or not take serious the most essential part of dance is a felony!

If you missed the ML Tour in Seattle... i'm really sorry. It was the best dance experience thus far for training, inspiration, and just plain enjoyment! For 2 days a dance community united for the purpose to better themselves. You can't get better if you don't receive training. SAVE UP your money to go to things like this. If you are hungry for it, it shows. Don't pass something up that involves you being a better person/dancer after it.  You have to stay hungry and you have to be committed. Anything else is unacceptable. After training with people who have danced less than 2 years to people who have been dancing for 20+ years, there is no excuse for not being able to train. Training is super important. In the words of Kyle Hanagami, be a smart dancer! There are a lot of less educated dancers out there who don't get to where they dream. For me, its to the moon and further if I ever reach the moon. Until then, aim high :)

Man up...

I used to think I was a man for having control of my life.
Thought I would be a better man for having a kid and a wife.
But let me say that those things just added glory to my name.
It didn't change who I was or the fact of being claimed.
I was disillusioned at the time to think that I was legit.
Making choices , spittin game, living my life and that was it.
Andthat made me a man, at least I thought it was that.
Being single r on my own I was the best one at bat.
And that's a fact cuz I had girls thinking I'm interested and all.
I was taken but that didn't stop me from flirting with them all.
And I fall easy, but its not easy just walking away.
I sat and prayed and convinced myself that this was OK.
But I was blinded by lust and thought I knew what love was.
Thought I was controlling my feelings but I forgot what that does,
Or what it felt like, man I just wasted my time.
I was never in control, but I thought I had to shine.
But for what? To prove my worth as a man?
Cuz first I had to grow up before I asked for her hand!
I had to man up, and not believe my own lies.
I said I prayed but the truth is it was me in my mind,
Telling me that I was right and everybody else is wrong.
Too much pride up in my soul to come off weak and not look strong.
I built a wall too tall for normal eyes to peer over....the other side.
Man I felt a part of me die.
When I didn't have someone on the other side to hug.
My heart broke thinking the man above showed no love.
But patience is a virtue and sin is a sin.
We can't sit and blame God knowing that we've been deceived by satan.
But to know this type of info doesn't come to surface overnight.
I had to fight and go thru trials to make everything turn out right.
Learn how to be an adult and conduct myself with integrity.
It takes a special person to bring out and expose the best in me.
Was I the right man? I thought God made a mistake.
How could he trust me with the lives of others to lead em straight.
I learned it was a blessing, God gave me wisdom and courage .
And the strength to take it on, he left me feeling encouraged.
So I leave you with these words the next time you feel like your the man.
And how no one can tell you different cuz you were brought up to make a stand.
And fight for what you believe in especially when it comes to love.
How weakness is nonexistent and strength becomes like a drug.
Thinking your on top of the world but can't take care of yourself.
And how the title you possess carries the weight on the shelf.
Without control your not a man is the lie that you believe.
So everyday you run the house like your the only one on the team.
Your not defined by how much they listen or how in line you keep your house.
But by the way you treat your kids and appreciate your spouse.
A real man remains clear while the other remains painted.
One you can see everything while the other remains tainted.
So the next time you say your a man and deserve the best
Just ask yourself a simple question...is it me that people respect?

- so many times we think that being a man means being in control and being in charge. OR having a title of authority we automatically should be respected. NOT AT ALL!!!!! Having things in life doesn't make you a man nor does a title or age! Respect comes from your ability to bring out the best in other people. Your ability to put one before yourself. People respect other people for reasons of adding inspiration to their life. So when you consider yourself a "man," more so an ADULT... do you conduct yourself in a manner in which you represent these qualities or do you just believe you possess these qualities due to your current status in life. Whatever that may be. Respect is delicate. And so are dreams. Don't ruin someone else's cuz it doesn't line up with yours.

Being a man requires becoming selfless... are you a man yet?

Struggles

Emotions in a knot, no more flow but a heavy flood
Consumed by currency and the pressure of keeping up,
Relationally, I gave up , emotionally I'm a wreck
Behind this smile is a past with which certain things I regret.
They say time heals all, without action you're simply dead.
Words don't mean a thing if you have no time left.
So then I sweat from the pressure and the pull on my heart strings
I still check it at the door, no matter how hard it stings.
But could you tell? Could you see the hurt within my guarded heart?
I can hide it pretty well no one would know I'm torn apart
But I struggle, see my story isn't any different from you
My advice is on point cuz back then I went thru it too
Still today, the same struggle, same story, different day
But I'm man enough to fix it instead of throw it away
Man enough to fall back, say I'm  sorry, and be the change
Say I love you, kiss your forehead and make sure you'll be ok
Tuck you in and hold your hand, right until you fall asleep
Gently whispering ur beautiful while caressing your cheek!
The romance should never stop even in the midst of debt
Cuz that's what keeps you grounded when money wins over bed
Never stop giving love especially if its given back
Cuz once you stop giving, you never get anything back.

My job...my life at a glance

I find that when I first wake up is the best time to write because my mind has so many thoughts. This weekend has been a great one due to many reasons. I got to see some friends battle in Portland Friday night. Saturday was spent teaching dance and watching Fantasia which our ABT ballet company put on. It was spectacular and my first show being part of the company to watch.

As I got to be part of the audience, I was astonished to watch some of the girls I train in hip-hop do pointe and classical ballet. I have a new found respect for these dancers. There were times I wanted to shout like we do in hip-hop for the dancers on stage but it would have been socially unacceptable at this particular event :)

Now its Sunday and as I lie in bed my mind is thinking of all I get to do today. At 2:30pm I get to go to a birthday party and teach dance to 19 kids. Something I love doing and I get to inspire these kids thru it. How awesome is that? I love my job and I take it serious. Kids at this age are very fragile and it takes certain people to make them or break them. I'm glad I get to be one of those people that makes them into a better person. Not just dancer but a better individual because the character traits of hard work and dedication they learned from a positive atmosphere is what inspired them to become the next president. See the bigger picture is that not everyone is going to pick dance as a career. To most, dance isn't considered a career at all. Holding the title of doctor,lawyer, teacher, firefighter, or dentist is considered a career. To be honest, we are just as important as any of those professions. My job isn't easy but I love it. It challenges me in different ways everytime I teach. Try teaching a group of kids a dance routine, keep their attention for an hour, make them remember it, and have them come back the next class wanting some more. Even better, try teaching that to kids ages 5-7. Its not an easy job. But parents continue to put trust in us to teach their child something in that one hour. Its our job to keep that trust.

Its funny to think that at one point my skills were being questioned due to my vision expanding and not quite lining up with others. That I was labeled unethical and defiant at one point for standing up for myself. Its funny to me because those same things pushed me to be where I am now. I haven't changed as a person. I'm still the same Marc that everyone knows. People assume way too much only because the people they run with tell them differently. I urge you to find out for yourself. 2 people can read the same book and have different feelings about it. They can watch the same movie and see it differently. Don't be the person that never read the book or watched the movie because people said it wasn't good. Find out for yourself.

I say this because I almost gave up dancing. I invested everything I had for this profession and it was slowly being taken away. It left such a sour taste in my mouth that I wanted no part of it ever again. I almost developed a hatred for it. For those who know my story, cool, you understand. But for those who don't, don't judge me until you know everything.

I've been grindin since 2009 to keep motivated and to keep pursuing my passion and it has led me to today. Excited and inspired to change lives. I love all the kids I work with. The jobs a book every year. The people I touch through performing. The parents that believe in me because in 3 months they've seen their child grow in hip-hop. Most of all I'm a Jesus freak and I couldn't have done it without him. God has bigger plans for me and he uses certain situations to grow us into the person he wants us to become. I'm thankful for everything in my life but I'm more excited for this next phase of life. 2012 is definitely a new beginning for everything.

Thoughts of a child....

Yesterday and today I got to witness my choreography on stage once again. It's nothing new to me to see a dance that I've created performed over and over again. It surprises me that over the years how many routines I've created but like I said, to me its nothing new to see it on stage. However, what is new to me is that the kids who perform my routines make all the hard work and sweat worth it. This year, I have a great set of kids who put forth their very best every single practice yet have never done real hip-hop in the past. To have kids work hard in something that is so foreign to them blows me away with intense passion to see them succeed not only in dance but life in general. Since September, these kids have stolen my heart. As a teacher, my job is to help them succeed. Now I'm just a hip-hop dance teacher so how much weight do I hold with their success in life?

Sometimes being a parent isn't enough at times when a child needs affirmation of feeling successful at something. Most these kids do over 8 hours of dance a week. Of course their parents will be super supportive of what they do. But to hear it from the person who is making their dreams reality holds a different kind of weight. A weight that is far more heavier then a parents words. A weight that makes them feel powerful  and on top of the world. That's how I felt getting my first compliment from a teacher.  I busted my butt to be top of the class all because my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Moore told me that she was impressed with my ability to comprehend material taught in class and she made me her T.A. See, at a young age, you can mold kids into anything you want them to be. You either praise them with positive words and they in turn will work hard in whatever they do. Or pass negative comments their direction and they in turn will pass up opportunities to be the best in all they do. See, when kids have people believe in them, they tend to navigate towards success at a fast rate. Again, they feel as if they have the whole world before them. When they don't have that support system, they feel as if the whole world is against them.

As a child growing up I had a taste of both. When I started doing what I love doing, I had more negative then positive but then again, different people hold different weight. I felt like I could do anything when I was a kid. As long as someone believed I could do it, I would do it! Of course I wasn't stupid and did ridiculous things like jumping off a roof. But when it came to things like sports or making friends or even breaking records set by friends or other people I would always try to succeed.

It's sunday night and I'm at the hospital because I just found out my dad has diabetes. A persons blood sugar should not exceed 180. If so, it exceeds the capacity of the kidneys reabsorb the glucose and it begins to spill into the urine. If it exceeds 400-500 it can be associated with some alteration in mental function and sometimes lead to a coma. They try to regulate and keep it under 140 milligrams per deciliter. My dads blood sugar ran 1038 which is what put him into the hospital. The nurse said that he's lucky he was able to make it in while in the state he was in. They said he'll be fine but he has to stay over  night so they can watch him over a full day and make sure he'll be able to return to his daily tasks.

Thoughts began to flutter my head as a child to a parent who is sick or possibly dying ( I know, too extreme of a thought but I had no idea how bad it was... just knew he was in the hospital lol ) So I began to think of how good of a son I was and if I make him proud. If his life ended tonight, would he be proud of what I've done or even who I've become. I began to wonder what would life be without him or even my mom if that were the case. A thought crossed my mind as I was trying to process all of this new found information. They also think the same thing about being parents. Have they succeeded in being a "great" parent? What classifies as being a "great" parent? There is no instruction manual to tell you what to do when things come up. It's a good thing we have google nowadays :)

As a child to my parents, I sometimes think if I'm a good son. I know I am but at times i question my worth. I know I shouldn't but it comes up at random times and this is one of those times where it has weighed on me. It's almost like those life or death situations where your life flashes in front of your eyes. Once I got the news it seemed like life slowed down and I was walking fast paced thru this slow motion movie. It was the same feeling I got when I heard my Mama Diana got admitted to the hospital and later passing away. It's not a fun feeling.

The thoughts of a child are intense. They go through a lot. No one knows exactly what goes on up there but ourselves. We might have somewhat of a clue but can never truly understand how one feels because the situation for them is totally different or even how they interpret and handle the situation is different than how we would. All we can do is support and love. The 2 main things a child thrives upon when succeeding in life. I got to witness a group of girls this weekend put it all on the dance floor because they said that they've been practicing really hard for this. They told me that they almost didn't do the hip-hop team this year because of their past experience with another hip-hop teacher. I asked what made them do it this year. They replied, "you". I began to tear up a bit and for those that know me, I'm a pretty emotional person when it comes to things like that :) They asked if I would be at their competitions this year because the last teacher never came to them. I told them that I wouldn't miss what they worked hard for all year and that I want to see them kill it on stage. That I was proud of what they've done since September and how dope they are to me. All they did was smile but that smile melted my heart the same way Kingston melts my heart just by looking at him. Being a parent is the best thing in the world. Being a dance teacher is almost like being a parent. I love my dance kids like their my own and they've given me access to their dreams.  Therefore, when it comes to their success, I'm going to do everything I can to see that their dreams come true. Whether it be in dance or something else in life. Remember, your words hold weight. It might be a lot or it might be a little. But if you choose to abuse those words just know that you just disregarded their future.

My parents and in-laws support me in everything I do. Since Kingston came, they've spoiled him rotten and bought him everything a newborn should need and more. He'll grow up being loved by so many people that love us. We are so grateful to have so many loving people in our lives and that will be part of his journey growing up. To know that we have a strong support system let's us know that he is in good hands later on. So when that day comes and he needs to hear the words of affirmation from someone else that we need not to worry because those people got out backs!

Remember that the thoughts of a child are fragile and precious. Love and support them in everything they do. Make their dreams come true. Not YOUR dreams for them.

Kingston Joseph Roy

As I lay here with King next to me making all kinds of weird sounds I start to think of my life before him. The simple joys of being able to go out and not having to worry about anything or anyone. Amy and I would be able to go on dates and be with eachother not having to pack extra bags or do any extra steps. We could just leave! Amy and I could go hang out with friends all without having to think twice about it.

We would get a lot more sleep :)

So many little things that we used to enjoy as individuals and a married couple is now gone. We now have to think of King and his needs and his wants and change his diapers ha ha.

Which leads me to my post :)

My life is forever changed due to this kid. To me, he is perfect in every way and can possibly be the cutest baby ever! No lie! People tell me all the time that he is but for real... he's SUPER freaking cute!

See as a teenager I could not picture myself a dad. Not even when I turned 21 did I picture myself a dad. I thought about myself and my needs and my wants all the time. It was easy! Fighting for the one I wanted to marry and truly marry for all the right reasons taught me discipline and love. How many people can say they married the right person? I can!

I've become more mature in my dealings with people and my everyday interaction since I was a teenager. I'm still childish and I don't think I'll ever lose that side because its what keeps me happy and grounded to say the least. We can learn from children or if you watch the movie "Hook!" I love that movie.

Anyways, Kingston has changed my life. I don't look at the extra precautions that I have to take, a burden. But rather something I enjoy doing as a father. See we grow up in stages. If we are not ready for the next stage in life mentally and emotionally then physically we back out. Whether it be a job, marriage,  or having a baby. Learning how to do everything comes in waves and we need to be ready to surf it. If not, you'll just get tossed around and want to quit after a while.

We waited and waited until the right time but we couldn't get past the fact that we wanted to be parents. Once we started trying it happened so fast and we had to learn how to accommodate with what was happening. Kingston is ONE MONTH today. Wow, time flies! This kid cracks me up with all his facial expressions and just random things he does.

Would I change my life to make room for him? You bet I would. What I wouldn't do is take anything back. See, he was planned and not just an oops. We wanted him here. Most babies have no choice. It saddens me how boys never grow up and take responsibility for their actions. That's why girls have to grow up into women and stop messing with "boys". Word of advice, if a guy doesn't fight for you, he'll fight with you... if he doesn't give you reasons to love you, he'll give you excuses to sleep with you... and if you get good morning and good night texts, those are usually an indication that he's flirting with you. Real talk, guys nowadays are LAME!

King on the other hand will grow up with manners and shown how to love and treat a woman thru his parents. If you lead by example, they'll grow up doing the same. I'm super excited for this journey with my son because it satisfies my soul to see the accomplishment of others thru my teaching. That's how I feel with my dancers. I cried last year when they got done performing on stage ha ha... I'm just so proud of them. I might even cry this year...we'll see :)

All in all, Kingston has become my pride and joy. Amy is still my first love. Dancing is still my passion and i have 2 amazing people that keep me inspired to create and share. And a dance family that is so wonderful to me that I get to share all these things with them everyday!

Kingston: Daddy loves you and I can't wait to see what a great man you'll become!

A picture worth more than words....

They say a picture is worth a thousand words....

Well to me, this picture is worth more than words can be said.

Have you ever had a person that intrigued you? Inspired you? Put you first before them?

I have! This is one of those people to whom I give respect and dedicate this blog to.

See, my Mama Diana (Diana Siron) has always been the one to put others before her. Even when she was sick with dialysis. She ALWAYS put the needs of others first. Her grandchildren, my brother and I. It was never about her. She never made it to be. I got inspired to be a hard worker by her because she stuck it out with the same company for over 20 years. I can't remember the exact number of years but it was her very first job and she worked until she retired/company went under.


What does it take to succeed? Does it take a shady business model to make big things happen? Do you sacrifice quality and standards for more money in the long run?

See the thing I learned the most from her is that you should never make it about you. If you make it about other people then in turn they make it about you! If you lift someone up, they will do the same. You don't have to cut corners to save a couple bucks. You don't need to gamble with feelings and emotions but instead help shape those feelings and emotions for a stronger purpose. My mom never taught me to give up. There were plenty of times where I wanted to BUT she always supported me. So I told myself that when I get married, I'm going to marry the one who supports everything I do and everything I'm about. Of course it didn't happen quickly BUT I did have to dismiss everyone before Amy :)

But the point of this blog is the picture. At the time this was taken, my mom was on dialysis in California. She could only take a total of 3 days off then she has to go back for treatment. I didn't want her to risk it but she wanted to come see me get married. This photo was taken June 28th,2009. My wedding day! As you can tell I'm an emotional wreck, but I will never forget the words she said before I started crying. We did the mom and son dance and as her head was on my chest she whispered "I told you I'd make it!" See, not being in the best condition, she flew a thousand miles to come see me get married. She made it all about me. Selfless!

I cannot explain in words how I feel or how I even cope til this day but I do wish she made it to see the birth of my son. I know she is proud of all the things I've accomplished and what I've become but it's different when the person you love and cherish is alive and right next to you.

A picture will never replace the feelings felt at that moment but rather offer you another chance to feel what you felt when it was taken.

Make the most of your moments. There is no telling when a picture becomes the only reference you have to see that person again.

I try to live everyday with a smile because you never know if your smile brightens someones not so happy day. You can only do so much being one person but why not make the most of it. If you have a bad day, at the end of the day, you're still breathing. So it can't be that bad, right?

Like I said, a picture is worth more than words. Sometimes people only have the vague memory. Don't be the one who wonders the "What if". Be the person who always says "Why Not".

It just might be worth your time, and if it wasn't, like I said, You're still alive :)