Yesterday and today I got to witness my choreography on stage once again. It's nothing new to me to see a dance that I've created performed over and over again. It surprises me that over the years how many routines I've created but like I said, to me its nothing new to see it on stage. However, what is new to me is that the kids who perform my routines make all the hard work and sweat worth it. This year, I have a great set of kids who put forth their very best every single practice yet have never done real hip-hop in the past. To have kids work hard in something that is so foreign to them blows me away with intense passion to see them succeed not only in dance but life in general. Since September, these kids have stolen my heart. As a teacher, my job is to help them succeed. Now I'm just a hip-hop dance teacher so how much weight do I hold with their success in life?
Sometimes being a parent isn't enough at times when a child needs affirmation of feeling successful at something. Most these kids do over 8 hours of dance a week. Of course their parents will be super supportive of what they do. But to hear it from the person who is making their dreams reality holds a different kind of weight. A weight that is far more heavier then a parents words. A weight that makes them feel powerful and on top of the world. That's how I felt getting my first compliment from a teacher. I busted my butt to be top of the class all because my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Moore told me that she was impressed with my ability to comprehend material taught in class and she made me her T.A. See, at a young age, you can mold kids into anything you want them to be. You either praise them with positive words and they in turn will work hard in whatever they do. Or pass negative comments their direction and they in turn will pass up opportunities to be the best in all they do. See, when kids have people believe in them, they tend to navigate towards success at a fast rate. Again, they feel as if they have the whole world before them. When they don't have that support system, they feel as if the whole world is against them.
As a child growing up I had a taste of both. When I started doing what I love doing, I had more negative then positive but then again, different people hold different weight. I felt like I could do anything when I was a kid. As long as someone believed I could do it, I would do it! Of course I wasn't stupid and did ridiculous things like jumping off a roof. But when it came to things like sports or making friends or even breaking records set by friends or other people I would always try to succeed.
It's sunday night and I'm at the hospital because I just found out my dad has diabetes. A persons blood sugar should not exceed 180. If so, it exceeds the capacity of the kidneys reabsorb the glucose and it begins to spill into the urine. If it exceeds 400-500 it can be associated with some alteration in mental function and sometimes lead to a coma. They try to regulate and keep it under 140 milligrams per deciliter. My dads blood sugar ran 1038 which is what put him into the hospital. The nurse said that he's lucky he was able to make it in while in the state he was in. They said he'll be fine but he has to stay over night so they can watch him over a full day and make sure he'll be able to return to his daily tasks.
Thoughts began to flutter my head as a child to a parent who is sick or possibly dying ( I know, too extreme of a thought but I had no idea how bad it was... just knew he was in the hospital lol ) So I began to think of how good of a son I was and if I make him proud. If his life ended tonight, would he be proud of what I've done or even who I've become. I began to wonder what would life be without him or even my mom if that were the case. A thought crossed my mind as I was trying to process all of this new found information. They also think the same thing about being parents. Have they succeeded in being a "great" parent? What classifies as being a "great" parent? There is no instruction manual to tell you what to do when things come up. It's a good thing we have google nowadays :)
As a child to my parents, I sometimes think if I'm a good son. I know I am but at times i question my worth. I know I shouldn't but it comes up at random times and this is one of those times where it has weighed on me. It's almost like those life or death situations where your life flashes in front of your eyes. Once I got the news it seemed like life slowed down and I was walking fast paced thru this slow motion movie. It was the same feeling I got when I heard my Mama Diana got admitted to the hospital and later passing away. It's not a fun feeling.
The thoughts of a child are intense. They go through a lot. No one knows exactly what goes on up there but ourselves. We might have somewhat of a clue but can never truly understand how one feels because the situation for them is totally different or even how they interpret and handle the situation is different than how we would. All we can do is support and love. The 2 main things a child thrives upon when succeeding in life. I got to witness a group of girls this weekend put it all on the dance floor because they said that they've been practicing really hard for this. They told me that they almost didn't do the hip-hop team this year because of their past experience with another hip-hop teacher. I asked what made them do it this year. They replied, "you". I began to tear up a bit and for those that know me, I'm a pretty emotional person when it comes to things like that :) They asked if I would be at their competitions this year because the last teacher never came to them. I told them that I wouldn't miss what they worked hard for all year and that I want to see them kill it on stage. That I was proud of what they've done since September and how dope they are to me. All they did was smile but that smile melted my heart the same way Kingston melts my heart just by looking at him. Being a parent is the best thing in the world. Being a dance teacher is almost like being a parent. I love my dance kids like their my own and they've given me access to their dreams. Therefore, when it comes to their success, I'm going to do everything I can to see that their dreams come true. Whether it be in dance or something else in life. Remember, your words hold weight. It might be a lot or it might be a little. But if you choose to abuse those words just know that you just disregarded their future.
My parents and in-laws support me in everything I do. Since Kingston came, they've spoiled him rotten and bought him everything a newborn should need and more. He'll grow up being loved by so many people that love us. We are so grateful to have so many loving people in our lives and that will be part of his journey growing up. To know that we have a strong support system let's us know that he is in good hands later on. So when that day comes and he needs to hear the words of affirmation from someone else that we need not to worry because those people got out backs!
Remember that the thoughts of a child are fragile and precious. Love and support them in everything they do. Make their dreams come true. Not YOUR dreams for them.
