As I sit in my hotel room ready for a weekend full of dance I begin to reminisce about how I got to the place I'm at. How I'm able to teach hip-hop, and how I've come to be able to choreograph. I begin to ask myself why I wanted to be in this field in the first place. Did I think of all the pros and cons that came with this position? Did this passion of mine fall into place because it was a fun idea? God must have had this planned all along; to have me teaching kids and be able to do what I love doing.
I never knew I would be dancing let alone teaching it. I wanted to be in the marines before anything. I've always had this adventurous and edgy side about me. At the same time I was thinking marines, I was enrolled in the education program at Clark college wanting to get my degree teaching elementary kids. 5th grade to be exact. Well, long story short, I had a friend going through the education program at CWU and she would come home and tell me all the stuff she was doing and I got uninterested really quick. I have no idea why but the thought of teaching kids that stuff felt meaningless to me. I wanted to influence them and teach them something that mattered. Something they can actually use, something that meant more in life. Dance came along and I loved dancing. I've always liked challenges and trying new things. I was already in love with the hip-hop culture. I grew up in it so I've always had a special place dedicated to the art. I've spent the last 8 years dedicating myself to the culture and I literally changed my lifestyle from wanting to become an educator of academics to an educator of life. I've realized that life nowadays is so much more advanced and we learn way differently compared to back then. The way we teach and view life is way different from 10 years ago. We are much more technologically advanced than we ever were and for that reason the way we teach has to be that much more profound. I feel that sometimes choreographers don't understand themselves or even the logistics behind choreography enough but want to make money in the field. There is no university that will give us a degree in hip-hop education. The only way to acquire said knowledge is from taking class and paving your own way. Hanging out with the people that are making it. Showing up to class/rehearsal with intention to learn and not socialize. Being that person that wants to become better and not allowing excuses to hinder you from being the best version of yourself. Having people kick your ass in class because you wanted to be part of something that challenged you. All these things can make you a better person in whatever field you choose. It doesn't have to be dance. What I've learned is that you have to have the right people to make all of that possible. In the end the only person stopping you from achieving anything in life is yourself. Not your parents and certainly not your friends. Only you.
I think a lot about my career choice and if it still makes me happy. There are times where I want to quit. There are times where I love what i do. There are even times where I think that another career path is where I should be headed. I wonder sometimes why I love teaching. Why I like seeing people succeed and why I feel so much emotion during times of happiness in someone else's life whether I know them or not.
It all comes down to my relationship with Jesus. Hands down I'm a Christian and I love it!!!! High on my list of spiritual gifts is the gift of faith. Everything makes sense now! This is what it's defined as:
'Those with the gift of faith trust God in difficult, even impossible situations when others are ready to give up. These people are often visionaries who dream big dreams, pray big prayers, and attempt big things for Jesus. These people tend to be optimistic, hopeful, persevering, change-oriented, and future-focused. These people also tend to be very convincing about the truth of Scripture because they themselves are so convinced of the truth and power of God and his Word.'
This is exactly ME :)
In my moments of questioning whether I'm doing a good job of being a servant or being a mentor, I rest in the fact that God has my back in everything. These last 3 months have been rough for me and I don't really like to let people into my life when there's trouble. You can say I'm stubborn and I will admit it but I feel no need to bring my personal issues to work and vice versa. Sometimes it slips and my worlds collide. These last 3 months have been quite tough for me in regards of continuing to teach kids as a career. Is this something I really want to continue to do, or do i look into other outlets for inspiring and reaching the next generation? Everyday I feel like I wear so many hats and at the end of the day I'm so worn out that I just don't want to wear any hat at all and I just want to rest my head without any thought running through it.
There are some big changes brewing for the future. Changes that will impact a lot of lives and some changes that will have a minimal effect. I've been in the game long enough to know whether it's worth it or worthless. The current status of pros versus cons at this point is about even. I live life with no excuses and only excepting results. Whether bad or good results, I live with it. I'm excited for a new chapter to unfold and very excited to start writing my book. In the meantime, teaching is my passion and I will continue to inspire and change lives the best way I know how. I've gotten to this point through a lot of hardship. A lot of mistakes and more so trial and error. I've been through the ringer more than enough to learn from previous mistakes to see what works and what doesn't. I'm an open book with chapters not yet read and lessons not yet learned. But that doesn't stop me from continuing to write and teach from failure. The best lessons ever learned weren't from a class room, they were learned from experience. You can't teach life from history, you have to live it!
Here's to living, but most importantly, here's to the journey and the things you learn along the way :)
